I'm trying so, so hard not to get my hopes up.
For the first time in years my life is hinging on a what if...
... but it's best to just carry on, even if that slight spring in my step is maybe a little too noticeable. Just in case my hopes are dashed.
And of course, a question - what is this? I feel such tenderness towards the words on these pages, which capture in fleeting glimpses the life before this one, but I'm increasingly aware that this life requires no questioning, no dramatising, no lingering. I feel simultaneously as though I'm standing still and running forward. Have I lost something or gained everything, or both? Do I continue and develop, or draw a line and move on?
For now, I guess I just wait and see if this potential turning point comes to fruition.
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Reading this, my adjacent drink mat's quote from Epicurus seems relevant. Pleasure is the beginning and end of living happily.
ReplyDeleteGo well.