life is repeatedly smoothing over cracks

fifteen nights straight i've been crawling back home in the early hours, which doesn't leave much time for philosophising, or much else for that matter, but as long as life keeps rushing past like this, one hour leaking into the next like so many rotten apples, as long as i can't stop to think, then everything will be okay because that's just how it works. the constant making-right of all the tiny mistakes we make from day to day.

some perfect moments though, even amidst the seeping time and gnawing worry of everything slowly slipping backwards, as everything is wont to do -

- a group of tourists gathering huge autumn-fallen leaves on the corner of kingsway
- falling asleep in (a few) someone's arms
- sitting below paper lamps in a soho vegan cafe with neon lights and people blinking in and out of view beyond the glass and la vie boheme repeating over and over in my mind
- dancing on the ninth floor in my best friend's apartment whilst fireworks explode in the distance, with only the whisper of an echo of a bang
- steam from my cup of tea reflecting orange from the strip lights that line the royal festival hall
- eating in an empty thai restaurant with only the crazy lady proprieter for company, and tasting coconut for hours afterwards
- my friend's baby's eyes as she turns and looks into mine, and her smile that is a mirror of both her parents, and her tiny hand clasping my finger, and twice in a week!

it's never good to focus on the negative. my mind is skittery, so apologies for this all-over-the-place writing.

tomorrow (today... yet again, it's 2 in the morning) is my first day At Home for... a long time. i tend to panic when i haven't filled my days with people, but tomorrow, until my friend comes for dinner in the evening, i think i'll enjoy keeping myself to myself.

there's a new playlist up, by the way...